The feeling of being more or less constantly sad.
Ok let’s say you read this because that’s exactly how you feel right now. You are in fact sad, down, tired, and feeling sluggish and heavy in both mind and body. In addition, you don’t feel satisfied with yourself. Not in any way, so to say. Sometimes however, you feel that you are better than others, but this mixed feeling does not last long. Heavy thoughts, low self-esteem and constant self-criticism have become part of your inner conversation with yourself.
Teens are no exception when it comes to sadness and depression. (from: www.sun-sentinel.com.)
The dark cloud over your head
This feeling is not because you are sick or ill or have had an accident recently, or just lost someone you love. It’s a more permanent and recurrent state of mind that somwhat haunts you like a dark cloud in a sunlit landscape. (you can also read this in connection with depression: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2017/07/30/feeling-alone-world-wanting-abandon-life/)
The dark cloud following you. (by: Boise Daily Photo)
Some may call you dark in mind and deplete. Professionals may say you’ve got a depression. Others like me, might say you seem rather sad, that you are in some sort of grief or melancholy, dissatisfied with yourself and many parts of your life. Yes, sometimes you get angry with others because they seem so happy. Friends try to cheer you up and point out everything you should be happy with, in your life. Their intensions may be good, but for you it only makes things worse.
Everyone seem to smile and try to cheer you up. Many reminds you of how glad you should be for everything. (pic. 1. Shutterstock. pic. 2. from unknown source.)
Sometimes you get angry and mad without daring to show it.
Well, of course you could have said: “Try to be me just one day, and you’ll know! But you don’t manage to be mad either. Or you don’t have enough energy, or don’t dare to lose those few, who after all call themselves your friends. But basically, far down there, you’re really quite pissed off, somewhat envious of their seemingly good lives. As for your own life, it seems to go from bad to worse. Ok, then admit this fact: You’re very very sad and tired of everything. Call it depression or whatever. It’s a fucking hell for you to go through this, excuse me for swearing. That’s your emotional ground zero and baseline. But I tell you that this is not altogether you. It’s only a state of mind, and it can be altered even if it means hard work!
Then I also say the following: In time for a little experiment of mind. Try just for once to be a bit playful and imaginative with me:
Using our imagination can be a road into our deepest energy source . If you need some relaxation exercise and energy booster check: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2018/04/09/follow-me-out-on-the-cliff/
Imagine that you are basically an undiscovered being, an undiscovered person. That your inner core or self, as early as from childhood on, has not been valued as it should. There may be several reasons for that, but those reasons are not in you. They have been outside of you, and outside your control, even if you don’t think so. (Check psychological development on:) http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/07/26/how-i-was-born-with-you-me-and-the-others/)
Basically this is not your fault, but as a grown up you have to take responsibility for your life.
Well, you may have been mad and pissed off even a pain in the ass for some later in life, even though I hardly believe so. But that’s just as it may be. First and foremost, it’s your gloomy mind and mood that hardly manage to create a party atmosphere when you’re with others.
Or maybe you just make others believe you’re ok and happy, that everything’s ok. You even puts on a smile like some superficial mask, covering the sorrow you feel underneath. Unfortunately this attitude makes you feel even more miserable, and lonely. But I understand why you do it, I think. You won’t be a burden.
Sometimes if you drink you happen to act out some rage that makes you feel even more miserable, the day after. (Illustration from a Hollywood movie)
Let’s rewind the tape. and go back to start!
Now let’s go back to the pictures or movie I want you to see before your closed eyes. The fact that you are small, in your early childhood, and that your next door neighbours are two very nice people who really see you.
The couple that took care of you with all their compassion and love, when others were not available.( illustration from Pinterest)
Such people don’t exist you might object. – Yes, they do! And they light up whenever they see you.
They invite you to buns and cocoa or soda. They put you on their lap and read for you, and both the lady and the husband say they’d just wanted such a child like you, but never got the chance to have one. You have never before heard things like that in your own home.
They can’t get enough of you. They just love you unconditionally. (Illustration from unknown source.)
Your parents are so busy with their own issues, or Dad has left you or died, and mom is probably sick or depressed, or your parents are arguing, and neither has any surplus energy to show love and affection, at least not when you really need it.
Perhaps you are from another culture and feel very lonely, far away from grandparents uncles and aunts. Or, your family is so strict that you’re not allowed to do the stuff other kids may do.
If you are from another culture and are separated from them because of war and conflict, that makes your loneliness even more understandable. ( Lahore Photo)
The couple that loves you so much, gives you every good reason to start loving yourself too.
For that reason you visit them every day. And every day you get to know something nice about yourself, whether it’s just because you are the one you are, or it’s smaller things you manage to do, make, draw or build and show to them. I will recommend this article on how you become what you are for better and worse: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/07/31/i-am-like-an-unfinished-novel/
The very nice man reads for you before bedtime. (from: Choice Network)
One day they ask your mother if you can stay overnight with them. Let’s say it’s okay with your parents. And that very night, you’ve never had a better time or have felt better. They hug and kiss you on your cheek and on the forehead, when you are going to bed. They even say nighty-night to your cuddle animal.
Day by day you get a reson to broaden your smile in this version of your life.( illustration photo: Adoption network)
They discover your true self, and love it!
The next day you go on a walk in the woods. After half an hour’s walk you arrive at a very beautiful lake. The man and the lady pick up a food box and thermos from the rucksack, and even a soda for you. You want to swim before you eat, and the man blows up a bathing duck that you can wear so you do not sink.
“It looks so fun swimming in the water, they shout to you. “My, oh my how good you are swimming around with that duck. Eventually, they must go and get you out of the water to prevent you from being cold. Then they stand down at the water’s edge with a big beautiful towel, as they rub you warm and dry.
When you come to a beautiful lake in the woods, you are allowed to swim. (illustr. photo: lake hellorf.com)
The days become weeks and the years go by, as you continue to see them almost every day. At the same time, a deep sense of joy and self-confidence seems to grow within you. You are doing well at the kindergarten, and soon you get many friends.
Also at school, you’re doing well. The teachers are very happy with you, and they say this to the lady and the man you’ve been so fond of. Because your mother and father are not able to follow up all then things they should, the man and the lady help with such meetings in kindergarten and at school.
They feel so proud of you, and happy.(illustr. from: Heaven’s Family)
Your caretakers tell your parents about all you have achieved and how nice you are.
The couple tells about your nice person and success at school to your mom and perhaps dad, if he’s home. Then it looks as if they also light up when they hear about it. “Your son or daughter, is the most wonderful, beautiful and nicest child we know in the neighbourhood,” they say.
And you’ve never doubted them or lost confidence in them, because they’ve never hurt you, or done anything cruel to you or illegal. They have just opened their hearts to you and let the love flow over you like a vitamin drink.
The man has taught you how to ski, to scooter and drive the car before you go to a driving school to get the licence. Since he has more money at hand than you and your parents, he spends his money on your driving hours.
The you got your driver’s license. (photos from: 1. A driving school in Manchester, 2: Elite Driving School)
When you finally get the driver’s licence, the couple often let you borrow their car. You also drive them back and forth to places they need to go to. And never have they said a negative word about your mother or father.
When you got your sweetheart.
They have just listened to you and supported you when you’ve been sad because Mom and Dad were not able to give you of their own love. Even when you were upset about your parents complaining that you were never home, the couple comforted you without blaming mom and dad. The day you get a sweetheart, boy or girlfriend, the man and his wife, seem to be ever as happy for it and proud of it as you are.
(Illustr. Photo from: Wattpad)
Before you and your sweetheart take the car to the couple’s cabin in the mountains or by the sea, you embrace them in turn, saying, “I love you so much, I really love you! You are the best thing that happened before I got this girlfriend, you tell them. – “And you’re the best that ever happened to us since we joined the neighbourhood. – Now off you go, they say! Don’t let she or he be waiting too long for you!”
You embrace your bonus mom and dad before driving to the cabin with your sweetheart.( Illustr. only. photo from shutterstock)
You’ve never felt better!
As you run down the stairs to the car with their car keys, you feel happier than ever.. Life is not on hold any longer. Life is now! Cause somebody have discovered who you are, and loved you for it. And that very love always stays inside of you like a hot summer breeze.
“This place is so beautiful she says. I am so happy we went here.” ( illustr. from TYPES-FRANCHISES.COM)
Try to identify with that boy or girl growing up. Make your own pictures that gives the best match for you.
Now in the end of this movie, try to identify with that boy or girl. Try to think it was you. Because it is, or at least could be! That’s how you as a person can build up resistance to tackle hard days. It is this care, thought and love that opens the best parts of your gene material!
No one is born depressed or has it in their genes.
It is the encounter with an unfriendly and insensitive world, a place where you are not discovered and loved as you are, that creates depression. Check: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/07/06/genetics-and-environment/
But this condition does not need to prevail if you know your history or the history of your family. If you stop hating yourself and stop only focusing on what you cannot do, this very day will already be a little brighter.
If you understand why you’ve been so sad, it’s also useful. The day you can embrace the girl or the boy inside of you. The boy or girl who was never discovered and properly loved by the persons closest to them, – a milestone is reached. The day you can say to yourself; “I’m so fond of you, no matter why” That day everything starts to turn out for the better! I you want to know more about self-love in: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/11/12/self-love-sickening-healthy/
Embracing yourself is more difficult than you might think, and has nothing to do with selfishness.(illustration photos from “alamy stock” photo)
Start now, even if you think it’s crazy and you do not deserve it. And do not forget to see before you the nice and wise neighbours that opens their faces and arms whenever they see you. It won’t protect you from life, where being sad and sorry, even crying is a natural part of being alive. But it will protect you from hating yourself and criticising you undeservedly when bad things happen.
NB .Sometimes in life we all need someone to talk to and to confide in. A person who does not gossip or tell this to others without your permission. This can be a non-professional person, a councellor, priest or psychologist. A wise person that understands life both for young people and older ones. But most important of all, that this woman or man understands you!
http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/07/25/how-do-i-become-me/
Music for the sad, depressed, and underlying angry men and women.
Here are some music that may inspire you to start getting out of the sadness that hangs over you like a dark cloud. 1. The first one may be suitable for both men and women alike: 2. The second one by Katy Perry has inspired many girls and women, even men, who have felt oppressed and have a depression with much anger. 3. The last music is classical, and try through many different composers to identify musically with the sadness, sorrow and depression one can feel in this world.
